on my life.

The Healing Power of Movement

"Movement will give you access to joy that will dramatically improve the quality of your life, help support mental health, and create more meaning and belonging"

- Kelly McGonigal, PhD

I struggled with an eating disorder for 21 years. It controlled my body and mind, convincing me that my worth depended on being perfect. I didn’t even know what “perfect” meant — I just knew I wasn’t it.

It started when I was 14, as a way to feel in control. Over time, it became both my best friend and my worst enemy. It consumed me, stealing joy from everything I loved. What once felt like control turned into something that controlled me.

For years, I couldn’t imagine life without it. It promised happiness through a perfect body, but all it really did was take my hope and happiness away.

A good friend believed in me and encouraged me to take a performance exam for a Pilates training program. I didn’t know if I’d like it, but I wanted to prove to myself that I could do it — for me.

For a month, I worked hard, going into the studio every day to practice while pretending to “run errands.” I passed the exam, went to a café down the road, celebrated with a glass of wine by myself, and then shared the news with everyone.

During this time of preparation, when I moved through the Pilates exercises, something felt different inside me. I couldn't get enough of the euphoric feeling it brought me. In that cocoon that I had made over all the years to protect myself, something exciting began to awaken. I felt freedom.

Becoming a Pilates instructor changed everything. I thought I was just learning to teach, but instead, I discovered freedom — inside and out. Pilates awakened a mind-body connection I never knew existed. Suddenly, without expectation, I felt a release — emotionally and physically. My fake smile became real. I stripped away layers, faced fear, let it go, and learned to love my imperfection. I laughed, I cried, I tried again and again.

I began to feel my body in a way I never had before. For the first time in my life, I looked at my body not as this imperfect blob, but as a magnificent gift from God. I felt my heart beat, my lungs expand like wings, my ribcage protect my organs. I noticed how my scapula moved when I hugged my kids. My back pain disappeared, and I even learned to do a backbend — opening my spine, opening my heart, opening myself to life.

I learned to trust the process. Not just the process of learning or teaching an exercise, but the process of life. I learned to feel, to heal, to truly be alive. Really alive. That’s the magical part — the part that showed me a pathway to feel strong, brave, capable, confident, and healthy. For the first time in my life, I could say I love my body. We all have unique, gorgeous, one-of-a-kind bodies. They carry us, love us, and deserve to be celebrated.

Pilates is so much more than exercise. It helped me win the hardest fight I’ve ever faced. Through movement, I was healed.

Pilates saved me. And now, I feel confidently alive.